never been in love

i never been in love

i don’t think i ever will

i won’t let myself fall

i’m scared i’ll never get back up

back to reality

back to to myself

back to who i was before

him or her

i’m scared to get attached

to need someone

to need just them

and nobody else

to think i can’t live without someone is terrifying

when it’s just the dopamine clouding my mind with irrational thoughts

the fact that love effects the human brain as much as a addiction to cocaine

is scary to even comprehend

since nobody knows the cure

for someone to have that type of hold over me

to be able to control my thoughts and actions

to be that vulnerable

to let someone in

fully in

to know who i really am

inside

the deepest parts that nobody ever explore in the past

maybe not even myself

​and i think i’m scared to find out

August 15 2018