blue - part 2

i despise myself

i detest my life

i loathe everything and everyone alike

what a night

just being alive

gentle and collide

seeing the other side

i’ll never forget

the time you cried

and i told you it was alright

hips toes and thighs

looking into your eyes

the sun against my skin in the south of france is all i need

and you being right next to me

you made me sad

i’m drowning inside

that you went away

now i think while i lay

that i wasn’t enough

and i never will

catastrophic thoughts rush through my mind

and i can’t make it stop.

i just want it to stop.

July 5 2018