bad habits

when i first laid my eyes on you i thought you were perfect

infatuation started

dirty thoughts of us rushed through my mind and never left

shivers from a cold sweat down my back

while i lay in bed dreaming of you

you were always a mystery to me

something i couldn’t figure out

it just intriguing to me

which is something new

but the more i dig the realization became more clear that it wasn’t treasure i was gonna find

except mind illusions and deceit

which isn’t what i signed up for and the two things that didn’t look cute on you...

it was all about the chase and nothing about me

i guess that fact just toke me a while to get through my thick skull of mine

i tell you i’m done

and you come back so effortlessly with your sweet nothings like this isn’t the first time those words came off your lips

still asking for more of me to play with like a toy doll solely here for your amusement

but i’m over you playing with me and making me feel like a empty box

i ask myself why do i keep falling for assholes like you as i block your number off my phone and then i realized it’s because those are the ones i’m constantly looking for

subconsciously deep down

but is it subconscious if it’s something i already know

but won’t change ?

habits are regular practices that are hard to give up

and in my case a bad habit

so if guys like you are my bad habit like drugs or nicotine

i think it’s time for me to get a detox

​**google search urban dictionary definition of a fuckboy**

December 17 2018